Home > Pimping other people for fun and profit, Random Weirdness, This is what happens when you let me out in public > What a long, strange trip it’s been! (or: Dr. Who Sex Toys and You…)

What a long, strange trip it’s been! (or: Dr. Who Sex Toys and You…)

Kella, where has the Stay-at-Home Geek been???

Glad you asked. I’m sorry for my absence these last six or seven months, but I’ve…

a.) Been a full time-mom

b.) Been a full-time student

c.) Got a job outside the house, which prompted me to have an identity crisis as I was no longer staying at home, but then we moved three times and then out to Texas and I was able to take my job “on the road” so that all worked out…

d.) (See above, re: moving three times in-state, then once from Orange County, CA to Austin, TX. Then pity me.)

e.) Been starting a new business: Knit Your Geek On, which will offer geeky handknit/crocheted items for the discerning individual. (Or even the not-so-discerning. Don’t care, money please.)

f.) Been hosting an athletic competition for my lungs, to see which can project itself the furthest outside my chest cavity, via my mouth. (Also known as: battling bronchitis/pneumonia/crackhead lung-dwelling Mogwai…)

All of this has conspired to make me the most seemingly-unproductive fucker on the planet.  Luckily, I have managed to retain my sense of humor about it all.

I still have Roy. He will be put up for auction, proceeds going to Operation Smile, as soon as I unpack him from the anti-moth/dust/critters/air precautions he’s in and give him a good airing out!

And now, something that may help kick off the reboot of this blog: Facebook Ramblings with Stu.

Stu and I have been friends since 2005. I’ve moved around like a gypsy on the lam, but we still keep in contact, intermittently (and I recently discovered that I’d accidentally memorized his phone number, despite never calling it in the last 7 years).  What helps keep our friendship going, I think, is the fact that his insanity parallels my own.

Stu is British, lives in Oklahoma, and plays host to four feline terrorists. We share Doctor Who/Star Wars/Whedonverse love, and he tolerates my craft-making rantings online with enthusiasm.  Often, he’ll post something outlandish on his wall, I’ll respond, and then (sometimes with the involvement of his other friends) it takes a turn for the bizarre and blogworthy.

Case in point (actual Facebook conversation from yesterday, with other friends of his chiming in):

Stu:  So.. Doctor Who sex toys. The sonic screwdriver is obvious (mine has three speeds).. but how about the Tom Baker scarf cock ring? Or the K9 Sybian?
Stu:  We could offer TARDIA .. Time and Relative Dimensions in Anal. “it gets bigger on the inside”
Kella:  ><;
Amber:  that last one just made me think “OUCH”
Stu:  Various screw drivers in various sizes.. four five six seven… and David TenInch. And “disappointing” for Eleven. Oh and don’t forget the Master!
Kella:  Wait till he changes the desktop theme to “coral”…
Amber:  The Dahlek vibrator, it’s already ribbed for her pleasure. Bonus points if it said “Ejaculate!”
Kella:  Not ribbed. Bumps. Dalek Bumps. /JeremyPrice
Amber:  The cyberman blow up sex doll.
Kella:  ‎…get off mah brainz.
Amber:  Adipose ball gag?
Kella:  I’ve actually knit one of those…
Stu:  I like the way you think.  Silence gags and Weeping Angel blindfolds…
Kella:  Raxacoricofallapatorian butt plugs…
Amber:  The Ood bullet, round and glowing, of course. the remote control is even part of the appeal!
Kella:  Only if the bullet is shaped like a brain, and it’s squishy.  I think I’ve actually got a pattern in my head for an Ood ski-mask, which could be easily altered to have an “uncut” Ood appearance… “The Ood ski mask, now 100% less Jewish/Puritanical!”
Amber:  I’m pretty sure that needs to happen!
Kella:  ‎…Don’t tempt me. People in Austin may die as a result.
Katie:  This is amazing.
Stu:  Cyber corsets. With upgrades. And attachments.  River Song’s Sensation Enhancing Lipstick.
Kella:  Window washer’s cart sex swing… for when you absolutely need suspension of your sexual disbelief.
Stu:  The Captain Jack equal opportunity toy… a vibrator at one end, a fleshlight at the other.
Kella:  The Gimp Mask of Bo.
Stu:  The Mickey Smith… a giant vibrating pussy.
Kella:  …with optional car charger!  The Martha Jones: invades your spaces in all the ways you don’t want, so you feel better after it’s been removed.
Stu: 
Empty Child brand bondage gas mask… Changes everything you say to “Are you my mummy?”
Sarah: 
Omg…. This was by far the strangest thing I read all day.
Kella:
  The Jackie Tyler: Comes in a wide array of dated colors, half out of its package, and will black your eye if you’re not careful.

I’m back. You’re welcome.


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  1. April 11, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    I heart you. That is all.

    • April 12, 2012 at 7:27 pm

      I heart you. That is all there needs to be. Aside from random chicanery of the violent kind. But that’s another post.

  2. Delia Kiski
    November 14, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    Dear stars and stones. I needed to read this so much. Thank you madam.

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