Home > Pimping other people for fun and profit, Random Weirdness, This is what happens when you let me out in public > What a long, strange trip it’s been! (or: Dr. Who Sex Toys and You…)

What a long, strange trip it’s been! (or: Dr. Who Sex Toys and You…)

Kella, where has the Stay-at-Home Geek been???

Glad you asked. I’m sorry for my absence these last six or seven months, but I’ve…

a.) Been a full time-mom

b.) Been a full-time student

c.) Got a job outside the house, which prompted me to have an identity crisis as I was no longer staying at home, but then we moved three times and then out to Texas and I was able to take my job “on the road” so that all worked out…

d.) (See above, re: moving three times in-state, then once from Orange County, CA to Austin, TX. Then pity me.)

e.) Been starting a new business: Knit Your Geek On, which will offer geeky handknit/crocheted items for the discerning individual. (Or even the not-so-discerning. Don’t care, money please.)

f.) Been hosting an athletic competition for my lungs, to see which can project itself the furthest outside my chest cavity, via my mouth. (Also known as: battling bronchitis/pneumonia/crackhead lung-dwelling Mogwai…)

All of this has conspired to make me the most seemingly-unproductive fucker on the planet.  Luckily, I have managed to retain my sense of humor about it all.

I still have Roy. He will be put up for auction, proceeds going to Operation Smile, as soon as I unpack him from the anti-moth/dust/critters/air precautions he’s in and give him a good airing out!

And now, something that may help kick off the reboot of this blog: Facebook Ramblings with Stu.

Stu and I have been friends since 2005. I’ve moved around like a gypsy on the lam, but we still keep in contact, intermittently (and I recently discovered that I’d accidentally memorized his phone number, despite never calling it in the last 7 years).  What helps keep our friendship going, I think, is the fact that his insanity parallels my own.

Stu is British, lives in Oklahoma, and plays host to four feline terrorists. We share Doctor Who/Star Wars/Whedonverse love, and he tolerates my craft-making rantings online with enthusiasm.  Often, he’ll post something outlandish on his wall, I’ll respond, and then (sometimes with the involvement of his other friends) it takes a turn for the bizarre and blogworthy.

Case in point (actual Facebook conversation from yesterday, with other friends of his chiming in):

Stu:  So.. Doctor Who sex toys. The sonic screwdriver is obvious (mine has three speeds).. but how about the Tom Baker scarf cock ring? Or the K9 Sybian?
Stu:  We could offer TARDIA .. Time and Relative Dimensions in Anal. “it gets bigger on the inside”
Kella:  ><;
Amber:  that last one just made me think “OUCH”
Stu:  Various screw drivers in various sizes.. four five six seven… and David TenInch. And “disappointing” for Eleven. Oh and don’t forget the Master!
Kella:  Wait till he changes the desktop theme to “coral”…
Amber:  The Dahlek vibrator, it’s already ribbed for her pleasure. Bonus points if it said “Ejaculate!”
Kella:  Not ribbed. Bumps. Dalek Bumps. /JeremyPrice
Amber:  The cyberman blow up sex doll.
Kella:  ‎…get off mah brainz.
Amber:  Adipose ball gag?
Kella:  I’ve actually knit one of those…
Stu:  I like the way you think.  Silence gags and Weeping Angel blindfolds…
Kella:  Raxacoricofallapatorian butt plugs…
Amber:  The Ood bullet, round and glowing, of course. the remote control is even part of the appeal!
Kella:  Only if the bullet is shaped like a brain, and it’s squishy.  I think I’ve actually got a pattern in my head for an Ood ski-mask, which could be easily altered to have an “uncut” Ood appearance… “The Ood ski mask, now 100% less Jewish/Puritanical!”
Amber:  I’m pretty sure that needs to happen!
Kella:  ‎…Don’t tempt me. People in Austin may die as a result.
Katie:  This is amazing.
Stu:  Cyber corsets. With upgrades. And attachments.  River Song’s Sensation Enhancing Lipstick.
Kella:  Window washer’s cart sex swing… for when you absolutely need suspension of your sexual disbelief.
Stu:  The Captain Jack equal opportunity toy… a vibrator at one end, a fleshlight at the other.
Kella:  The Gimp Mask of Bo.
Stu:  The Mickey Smith… a giant vibrating pussy.
Kella:  …with optional car charger!  The Martha Jones: invades your spaces in all the ways you don’t want, so you feel better after it’s been removed.
Empty Child brand bondage gas mask… Changes everything you say to “Are you my mummy?”
Omg…. This was by far the strangest thing I read all day.
  The Jackie Tyler: Comes in a wide array of dated colors, half out of its package, and will black your eye if you’re not careful.

I’m back. You’re welcome.

  1. April 11, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    I heart you. That is all.

    • April 12, 2012 at 7:27 pm

      I heart you. That is all there needs to be. Aside from random chicanery of the violent kind. But that’s another post.

  2. Delia Kiski
    November 14, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    Dear stars and stones. I needed to read this so much. Thank you madam.

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