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Post-production Herp-Derp: Caption contest

April 14, 2012 Leave a comment

I’m not one of those people that loves something just because it’s yet another product by someone whom they already love because of previous products/achievements.  I like things on an individual basis; songs, movies, television, books, etc.  Just because my favorite book was written by Peter David doesn’t mean that Mr. David has an all-access pass to my loyalty and affection from that point onward. Keep striving, don’t get lazy, and if it’s good I will love you again.  This is why services like Hulu and iTunes work so well for me, because it allows me to pick and choose from what rises to the top, rather than buy CDs with songs I love mixed in with songs I might loathe… But I digress.

I love Fringe.

That being said, I have a strong sense of “THAT DOESN’T GEL, YOU ASSHAT” when it comes to how things look on screen… Mister Abrams: I applaud your team’s initiative in loosening the hiring requirements in production, but as someone who graduated 8th grade geography in Oklahoma… please consider an educational pub quiz after work from time to time?

Exhibit A:

Apparently the extra "t" was taken in a compromise with the 99%...

In alternate universes, double consonants are punishable by amber...

Now, see, I’ve started you all off; your turn to caption this!

I can totally see my daughter conquering nations with that talent…

May 19, 2011 Leave a comment

Earlier tonight, I was making dinner in the kitchen — I know, suspend your disbelief and hold off on calling the fire department — and left Nick Jr. on television for Siobhan to watch. My husband and I have been fans of Sprout (previously PBS Kids) for the last year or so, and only recently changed to Nick Jr. (previously Noggin) because of their lack of commercials and more structured preschool-level programming. Siobhan’s current favorites from that channel include Olivia, Dora, Diego, Kai Lan, and Yo Gabba Gabba!

Yo Gabba Gabba! is both an awesomely retro children's show and a visually-stimulating timesink for potheads.

Now, I often worry about letting my daughter watch so much television, then I weigh my concerns against the feedback I get from other adults in official child-monitoring capacities: “Your daughter is so smart!” “Wow, she’s really articulate for a 25-month-old!” “She already knows her colors and shapes? Bravo, Mom!” So I basically tell myself that as long as it’s Nick Jr. she’s at least getting somewhat of an education…

Going back to me making this dubious dinner in another room from my child, I hear Yo Gabba Gabba! in the background, calling out “Cool Tricks! Cool Tricks!” (which is the show’s segment that teaches children about new musical instruments or styles of acrobatics and/or dance) so I figure it’s probably the rapping violinist twins or something. Instead, I’m treated to the dulcet tones of some fucker hand-farting “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.”

Seriously?

Twenty years ago, my brother got smacked upside the back of his head for hand-farting in public, and we got annoyed looks from adults for making that rude noise. Now it’s a “cool trick” on a preschool-type channel?

Thanks, Yo Gabba Gabba! Next time, why don’t you teach my daughter how to push the tip of her nose up whilst pulling down her lower eyelids, so she can look like an old-style pig mask? Better yet, if you could teach her how to burp the Star Spangled fucking Banner, she’ll have a marketable job skill. They’re sure to need new performers of questionable talent to showcase at sporting events, and I want my daughter to aim for sheer mediocrity.

For this, I give you the Picard Gesture of Incredulity:

Picard finds your lack of common sense disturbing...

Homework helpers…

September 26, 2010 Leave a comment

Admittedly, I’ve been lax in posting for the last week or so.  All I can do is offer up my apologies and blame my inattention to blogging on being overwhelmed with caring for a hyperactive toddler, painting models, driving the husband to/from work, difficult algebra homework, and knitting.  Not necessarily in that order.

Math has never been my strongest subject. I had a test due today, and my brain started checking out after the second or third problem.  After much Google-searching, I found the Mathway: Algebra Problem Solver.

Now, before you think that I cheated using this program (which is possible, and I thoroughly frown on such a use), I actually only input similar problems.  Girl scout’s honor.  I have a personal ethical standard with regard to that sort of thing.

The reason I like the program, however, is because it gives detailed, step-by-step instructions on how the site solved the math problem entered by the user.  So, say I have the following problem on a math test:

19-7y-3y<39
I would input a similar problem into the math program, such as:

13+8y-2y<43
The math program then takes my problem and dissects it, step-by-step, using the mnemonic PEMDAS (Parentheses, Exponents, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction).  This way, I can see exactly how to solve such a problem and apply it to the question that’s giving me so much grief.

Also, the site lets you generate custom worksheets based around similar problems to what you’re asking about, or generate random problem worksheets based on specific algebra categories.  This way, you can focus your studies on whatever areas are giving you the most difficulties and go from there!

In my opinion, as long as the individual remembers not to cheat, this is a perfect tool to use for the online student, or any parent who’s having difficulty with their teenager’s math homework!

Categories: Reviews, School

I sense a disturbance in the educational force…

September 14, 2010 2 comments

“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”

For those of you who may not be aware, that grammatically-raped statement came from the mouth of Former President George W. Bush.  I was horrified when he was elected the first time, but after his re-election I mentally expatriated for four years.  The leader of the “free world” needs to be a shining example of that world, showing to everyone that he or she embodies the best the country has to offer.  Sadly, he did showcase what America had to offer… it just wasn’t the best or the brightest.

But, I digress…

I knew that public schools were in trouble before Bush Jr. was elected, while I was still attending high school in Southern California.  Luckily, I graduated the year before they instituted the exit exam program, which required every student to answer questions about everything they were expected to have learned before graduation.  Since most of my classmates considered themselves fortunate enough to get through English class with a “C”, my expectations for the Class of 2001’s contributions to the world were fairly low.  I waited a few years before deciding to attend University of Phoenix‘s classes online, hoping to get my degree in teaching.

My online classmates will never be allowed to teach my children.

It’s not that I’m saying these people don’t have the intelligence to become teachers.  I’m saying they’re too damned lazy to speak or type the English language properly and should therefore never be allowed in front of a class full of minds ready for molding.  I’m sorry, people, but if your idea of a correct sentence as part of a response in college is: I speaked to her and tryed to explane my ways of thinking things before she told me that I was rong and an I wouldn’t never get her ways of thinkin things so we called the talk quits and that was that so I can’t finish my asinemant…  /headdesk

I shit you not. I had to peer review that specific sentence last year.

I have a hard enough time accepting that these individuals are allowed to continue onto college courses, let alone into courses designed to prepare one for becoming a teacher in a public school.  Not only were they allowed into classes above remedial level, they were also granted access to a second year.  I’d be angry at UoP for letting their standards sink so low if not for the fact that I’ve met “college graduates” in person in Southern California that would barely qualify in an elementary school spelling bee… as adults.  It’s apparent that the lowering of standards is a national problem.

Forget No Child Left Behind… they’ve already been left, forgotten, and are being ignored in favor of a “fresh start” in statistics.  Kids are being pushed through school based on test scores, and with teachers encouraged to “teach to test” (basically, only teaching the answers to the questions on the tests as they are presented), more and more kids are being shuffled out of public schools with little to no reading and writing skills, no knowledge of world events prior to the Backstreet Boys’ breakout album, and the belief that pi is made with apples, blueberries, or cherries.

I don’t agree with everything this article says, but this article in The Freeman, in 1993, best expresses a lot of my thoughts on public education in America. Yes, the article is 17 years old, but not a whole lot has changed. Test scores improving doesn’t mean our children are learning, Mr. Bush… it simply means that the carrot-stick approach has taught the teachers that they’ll keep their jobs if their students can learn how to pass a test. Retention isn’t really a factor.

Unfortunately, in a country that has spent decades looking for the easy fix to all its problems, we’re so deep in the hole when it comes to everything that matters that I don’t see how we could dig ourselves out of this one.  This country has become obsessed with looking good on paper and not actually having the goods to back it up. That accounts for the financial situation we’re in, the celebutantes that aren’t even worth the fifteen minutes most of them are getting, and our educational system.

It also explains how that man got into office.

Categories: Current Events, School
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